Parenting ramble
I understand that you are protective of your children. That is perfectly nature, and actually a good thing. However, once little Timmy or Jenny gets to be an adult, then they are considered legally responsible and accountable for their actions. Trying to shield them from consequences is a bad thing.
All that you are doing is extending their childhood indefinately - for you and them. To the rest of the world they are adults and treated as such. But, thanks to your stellar parenting, they have no idea how to handle themselves as such. Ranting at professors, employers or even the police(!) that your 20 year old is just a kid and shouldn't be held to the standards is only going to make you and your child look like complete idiots. And it only gets worse as they get older.
No. I will not break federal regulations because your 30 year old son is appearantly too immature to deal with the real world. Yes, your offspring are going to be held to the same rules as everyone else. No, they are not a precious and unique snowflake.
Parents - you can still be supportive of your children without hovering over them 24/7.
I was 19 when I had to set up a household of my own in town, and all I had with me was what I could take on an airplane - mostly uniforms. Yes, it was hard. Yes, there were times that I was rolling coins. I can think of at least three separate occasions that my mom sent me a check to help make it through until the next pay period. I didn't ever actually use any of the checks - I called her up as soon as I was paid and told her I was destroying the check and put it back in her register. But, let me tell you this: just knowing that if it came right down to it, I had an extra $50 - $100 that I could lay my hands one was a huge help.
When I got out of the military, I was completely at loose ends. I probably still am to a certain extent - it's a major transition that you don't really realize until you go through it. This was not helped by the fact that I was without medical coverage to get my medication. Yeah, looking at it now I can see that it was not the best time for me. Mom's response? "I can almost guarentee what your answer will be, but remember that if you ever need a place to stay or recoup, I'm here for you."
I will always be my mom's little girl. Always. And she will always be there for me when I need her. We are family. But, she recognized that to myself and the rest of the world, I am a 32 year old woman.
Supportive =/= smothering.
Okay - this ended up rambling and disjointed. I just had to get out some of the new appreciation that I have for my mom, and other parents in my family and the way that they deal with their childres versus some of what I see and hear on a daily basis.
Mom, I love you!
And, Lilith? The girls love you and know that you are there for them, too.
All that you are doing is extending their childhood indefinately - for you and them. To the rest of the world they are adults and treated as such. But, thanks to your stellar parenting, they have no idea how to handle themselves as such. Ranting at professors, employers or even the police(!) that your 20 year old is just a kid and shouldn't be held to the standards is only going to make you and your child look like complete idiots. And it only gets worse as they get older.
No. I will not break federal regulations because your 30 year old son is appearantly too immature to deal with the real world. Yes, your offspring are going to be held to the same rules as everyone else. No, they are not a precious and unique snowflake.
Parents - you can still be supportive of your children without hovering over them 24/7.
I was 19 when I had to set up a household of my own in town, and all I had with me was what I could take on an airplane - mostly uniforms. Yes, it was hard. Yes, there were times that I was rolling coins. I can think of at least three separate occasions that my mom sent me a check to help make it through until the next pay period. I didn't ever actually use any of the checks - I called her up as soon as I was paid and told her I was destroying the check and put it back in her register. But, let me tell you this: just knowing that if it came right down to it, I had an extra $50 - $100 that I could lay my hands one was a huge help.
When I got out of the military, I was completely at loose ends. I probably still am to a certain extent - it's a major transition that you don't really realize until you go through it. This was not helped by the fact that I was without medical coverage to get my medication. Yeah, looking at it now I can see that it was not the best time for me. Mom's response? "I can almost guarentee what your answer will be, but remember that if you ever need a place to stay or recoup, I'm here for you."
I will always be my mom's little girl. Always. And she will always be there for me when I need her. We are family. But, she recognized that to myself and the rest of the world, I am a 32 year old woman.
Supportive =/= smothering.
Okay - this ended up rambling and disjointed. I just had to get out some of the new appreciation that I have for my mom, and other parents in my family and the way that they deal with their childres versus some of what I see and hear on a daily basis.
Mom, I love you!
And, Lilith? The girls love you and know that you are there for them, too.
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